It took 2 1/2 weeks into this Program to recognize the obvious - to figure out WHY I was having these CONTINUALLY negative thoughts and the CONSTANT anticipation about twitching.
EVERY time I would go to bed, or SIT in my chair to read, or SIT and meditate, or LIE on the couch to watch TV ... the same thoughts would arise immediately ... "The twitching is on its way!"
Even going to the movies, I would still get my usual aisle seat in anticipation that at SOME point during the film, the twitching would START up again.
For the first little while the negative thoughts are understandable. But when it's obvious that the RLS is a LOT less intense than it used to be, it gets frustrating.
Then finally, after 2 1/2 weeks, it hit me! It became clear to me why this kept happening.
I realized that I had been having these anticipatory thoughts for OVER 20 years, with good reason. Every time I went to bed, or sat in a chair to read, or lay on the couch, or went to a movie, or flew in an airplane, thoughts about the impending twitching were present ... because that was the REALITY of my life at that time.
It wasn't a matter of IF it was going to happen - it was a matter of WHEN it was going to happen.
It would great if you could just tell your mind that you don't need to worry about your legs twitching anymore - that when you lie down at night, there's no need to anticipate an RLS attack. It would be wonderful if the mind could acknowledge your request and only focus on how much better your legs have become. But, unfortunately, it doesn't work that way.
We can move in that direction, but it's going to take awhile.
For instance, if a person was to quit drinking after getting drunk EVERY day for 20 years ... they are STILL going to have some thoughts about drinking for a long time into their sobriety - even though they've made a commitment to never drink again. This is because they have had thoughts about drinking for the last 7,300 days in a row! It's a DEEPLY burrowed habit. A giant trench that steals the water from other smaller trenches.
You cannot stop your anticipatory RLS thoughts at the drop of a dime. It's just not possible. They're going to be there for awhile, no matter what you do. Fully replacing your habitual RLS thought patterns with more constructive patterns is going to take some TIME. And eventually, the anticipation will lessen. You'll get your life back.
Exercises to QUIET the mind will help you through this process.
But, as is always the case with the healing powers of Nature, the most important ingredient is TIME.
Try to remember when you're lying in bed tonight and thoughts of twitching come up, that it's NOTHING PERSONAL. Your mind is NOT taunting you. It's just an OLD habit - a very deep and ingrained PATTERN that you are in the process of replacing.
But the procedure is SLOW.
As time goes by, these thoughts will eventually lose their power, and will no longer float around in your conscious mind.
But for the next while, they're going to be in the forefront. Do your best to let them go. They're just SHELLS of old thoughts. Don't give them life.
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